thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
smell my finger.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize