I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We need to get me chipped asap
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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