Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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