There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
