Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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