Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize