Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where is the hickey?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
