i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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