i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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