I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize