Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
