Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize