I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
