when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
