I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize