I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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