And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
