After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
