how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
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sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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