literally had 100 drinks last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
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it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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