Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
