THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
