capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
