i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Randomize
