Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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