I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
