Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
