There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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