omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
