i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
