drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
