Already got asked if we're dating
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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