Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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