I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
