Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Randomize
