Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I could make wine with my vomit
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
