Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
