So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
