is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
