she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
