i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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