3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
