Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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