Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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