i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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