Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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