tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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