Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
