If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize