you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
