he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
