I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My bed smells like the plague
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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