your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
