Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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