So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
