dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
