I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
