D3 body, D1 cock
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
this is an emotional support booty call
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
