I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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